JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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