i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
