I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
