Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
