Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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