pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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