it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
