o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
