i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
