I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize