I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
