i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
