Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
