She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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