So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
