Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
