Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
