I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
they're like a gay fantastic four
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
