gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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