I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
