Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Acid is not a monday night drug
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
