Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think your dad took our porno
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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