Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
