Non-Jews are for practice
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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