ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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