Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
