we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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