Heybabeimwearingurpanties
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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