If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
