the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
