i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
