think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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