So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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