I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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