just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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