Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
