we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
