so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
