That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
