You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
