hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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