You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
