mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
