We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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