Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
