You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
