I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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