dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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