I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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