SEEEEXXX PLEASE
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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