Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
