I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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