oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize