I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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