hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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