The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
