I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
