some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
