i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
we're so committed to being not committed
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